love light loss and pinterest

A journey into my messy life, mind, and kitchen.

The Unimaginable

“There are moments that the words don’t reach
There is a grace too powerful to name
We push away what we can never understand
We push away the unimaginable”

-It’s Quiet Uptown, Hamilton, Lin-Manuel Miranda

Following the last post was difficult for me.  I re-read and re-read the amazing words people had written about Mom’s lifetime of incredible work.  It left me in awe.  It left me angry.  It left me heart-broken.  It left me searching.

I finally found some inspiration in, of all places, the grocery store.  A place that I could not even enter a few months ago with out a panic attack (read Grocery Store Dilemma).  As I walked the aisles by myself I thought back on the last few weeks.  What has changed? What will never be the same?  Although, my whole world has been turned upside down it all still continues to spin.

As I was having my grocery store meditation I spotted something that I knew I had to cook and write about.  A beautiful corned beef roast.  Not, something I had ever made before.  But, something that immediately flooded me with memories.  Any time we saw a corned beef hash on a menu Mom and I were both drawn to it.  We had a system.  One of us would order the corned beef hash and one would order something sweeter like pancakes (breakfast dessert is a totally legit thing).   We would share, what a great team we were.

Here is the Pin, check it out.  It was very yummy.

corned beef hash recipe | use real butter:

Click on the image for the full recipe.

Here is my version in photos:corned

Prep

yogurt

I used plain yogurt in place of heavy cream

finalcornedbeef

Yummy Goodness on a Plate

 The last time we did this was in New York, 2 months before she passed.  Brother Rob, Mom, and I had the trip of a life time.  Seriously, we saw 6 life altering shows in 4 days, we got hugs and shared laughs with some of the best people in the world (xoxo Boy Blake and Kimmie), we ate what and when we wanted (midnight street food included), we wandered streets and markets, we avoided getting kicked out of our hotel room (long story, best told in person), we lived and loved in every moment.  I wish I could still feel Mom’s hugs and hear her laugh. But, I can feel the love oozing out of every one of these pictures.  Can you feel it too?

 blackbeauties bromomma  beautieshamtix hammy ggtlm timesquare stagedoor soupdumplings stage perfection mommablueeyes mommaandb drivelobster  citycollegelightofmylife

You are the light of the world…and I’m gonna let it shine.

16 Comments

  1. I love this!

  2. These pictures are everything. So are you xoxo

  3. Cheryl Baraban

    April 28, 2016 at 1:25 pm

    This speaks to me so much. Those last day memories stick with you this strongly even over time. You never forget it. I love you guys and I’m thinking of you all often!

    • lovelightandloss

      April 28, 2016 at 1:31 pm

      It reassures me to hear this. I get nervous about forgetting things. Love you too. Keep posting pictures of that beautiful baby boy.

  4. I feel and see the love! So glad this trip was possible. I remember after surgery wasn’t an option, that day in the hospital. She said, I want to put up my Christmas tree and I want to see Hamilton. Done and done and we did so much more. I have tears now, thinking about how she must have pushed herself to be able to share these wonderful final moments with us. Love you, sister.

    • lovelightandloss

      April 28, 2016 at 2:15 pm

      So true sister. I will have many more blog posts full of pictures from the last few months of her life. We really made the most of it. With all the visits from Jiff and her crew, thespian conference, and our trip to Florida. So much love for life. Like her button from Disney World said “we are celebrating life”. <3

  5. I am weeping and laughing simultaneously! Your words touch my heart.

    • lovelightandloss

      April 28, 2016 at 3:21 pm

      I felt the same writing it. I could hear her laughter in the picture with Boy Blake and Kimmie and hear her sobs in the picture of Hamilton.

  6. ❤️ gorgeous words.

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