love light loss and pinterest

A journey into my messy life, mind, and kitchen.

Text From Mom

Legacy in a Cyber Age

We live in a pretty remarkable time, a time where full conversations are held over computers and phones.  Say what you will about technology replacing true connection, I say that does not have to be the case.  I am a connection person.  I feel all the feels and they tend to come oozing out of me if I want them to or not(Hufflepuff much?).  

For those of you who don’t really know our family here is the briefest of summaries – we have a confusing, non traditional, somehow functional, extremely close family.  Seriously close.  So tight-knit in fact I sometimes have trouble relating to fictional families in books, movies, and tv shows.  I am always thinking, why did he not just call his sister, what do you mean they haven’t spoken in years,  ummm why is she trying to go through this alone, he should call his mother. No one quite captures the closeness although, the Gilmores and the Bravermans come pretty darn close.   Illness has a strange way of changing things of changing relationships, luckily for our family, it made our bond even stronger.   We are, geographically, all spread out.  Text messages, emails, and Facebook messages have always been one of our ways to stay in touch and in the loop and stay connected.  The amazing thing about that is although Mom is gone (physically) those conversations are still here.   Physically here, I can pull them up where ever I am.  I can read them…or at least look at them through tears.   Here are a few bits and pieces of those connections.

text

I love the end…”going in the show now.”

"dancing hearts" were Mom's favorite emoji

“dancing hearts” were Mom’s favorite emoji

A quote Mom thought I needed in December. She was right, I needed it then and I needed it today.

A quote Mom thought I needed in December. She was right. I needed it then and I need it today.

One thing is clear to me in all of our conversions, she loved her children more than anything in the world.  I am going to make it a daily goal to try and be the person she thought I was.

I Must stay focused on the love and the light…not just the loss.

Thanks for hearing me out, I needed that.

Be on the look out for a new pin/recipe tomorrow. I am going to try and tackle some Asian inspired dishes.  Wish me luck.  I need it.  Luck or a personal chef but, I guess that would be cheating.

21 Comments

  1. You are perfect.

  2. Also, I have been saving text messages and voicemails for the past year. I haven’t listened to the voicemails yet.

  3. You are both perfectly you. Love y’all.

  4. I love following your posts!

  5. Meagan Guilbeau

    March 21, 2016 at 6:47 pm

    Although I’m SOOO looking forward to all of the food blogs, this one really was so special! Loved it!

  6. I love this Blake! Your mom was one of a kind and truly touched so many lives (mine included). I am so looking forward to all of your posts. Love you!!!

  7. I have two voice mails from Dad that I cherish. They are not about anything special. I’m just lucky to hear his voice.

    • lovelightandloss

      March 27, 2016 at 4:20 pm

      I know. I don’t have anything with Mom’s voice. Guess I am going to need to call Aunt Terry more often.

  8. ❤️❤️

  9. Wow. Sorry life got lifey on me and I have seriously been outside of the inner circle of anything that means something, therefore I suck. I am reading bits and pieces of your blog and journey for the first time. And wow. A-maz-ing. What an amazing way to deal with the loss and enjoy your mothers legacy all at the same time. GENIUS! Unfortunately, there was NOTHING of my sisters that I would have wanted to follow (nor would anyone on the planet- scary)but writing about the memories and knowing I didn’t forget was so therapeutic. And FYI hang on to those voicemails, texts, Facebook posts for enternity. I now use them to help depict the Chelsea I knew to my kids and nieces. I can’t imagine how the whole kid journey is going to effect you without your rock but know she is always with you and you will start to sense it, feel it, and even see it at times (you may already have). I’m so sorry for your loss but so amazed at your strength, keep it up chica. #loveandlight

    • lovelightandloss

      March 28, 2016 at 12:34 pm

      Thank you. Your blogging your journey of loss was definitely an inspiration to me. I know, personally, it was amazing to see and learn more about Chelsea through your words. I do feel Mom and sense her in moments. Right now those moments are both lovely and a pretty painful reminder. But, cooking and writing seem to be helping me work though some of the pain. Love you and for the record you don’t suck (but life does sometimes). 😉

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